The dream is the dreamer's own psychical act.

-Sigmund Freud

I was struggling to see the silhouette in front of me after wiping the raindrops out of my face repeatedly. "Who is there?" I yelled. But it appeared as if my own voice echoed from there. I shouted repeatedly. Suddenly, the lightning struck vociferously, as if trying to unveil the face of that umbra. I began to look around and see if I could find my new mates. Unfortunately, I was unable to locate anybody at all.

There was another flash of lightning and apart from that shadow, the whole surroundings have been illuminated for a split second. In the midst of the intense rainfall, I ended up finding myself in the middle of the football field, in front of the college's mechanical block. The soil on the entire area was wet and flaccid. My feet were bare, and I was covered in mud up to my ankles.

Now I was feeling a little paranoid because that shadow was getting darker and bigger. I gathered my courage and started walking towards him. But what do I notice? The speed with which I move toward that shadow; it repels at twice the speed. Suddenly, my pace began to slow. It was becoming extremely difficult for me to move forward. My feet seemed to have been caught by the ground. When I look down, it seems that the ground has turned into a morass, and also my body has sunk to my knees.

That shadow was now only a few feet away from me. I felt myself drowning in that swamp and quickly screamed for help. But all of a sudden, I felt as if my voice was refusing to come out of my mouth. I was already convinced that my voice would not have even been supposed to reach either the mess or the mechanical block. Nevertheless, foreseeing someone's arrival is a form of inefficacious self-comfort. I was so desperate that I decided to seek help from the same entity that had heretofore terrified me. But as soon as I thought about having a look at him, my voice vanished.

Time was ticking away, and I was sinking rapidly into that bog. Only my head was now visible above the mud. As my lips and nose drowned in the swamp, my breath's contact with my lungs began to fray. As I sank lower, I find that the length of that shadow keeps growing as it might reach the sky. I abruptly woke up and sat down. My entire body was drenched in sweat. The wind was rushing in and out of the window on the left. The reaction of sweat and cold air ended up causing a shiver to run through the body. A crackling noise was coming from the windowsill which was going back and forth. The shadows of the swinging trees, through the window, were swaying in the room due to the intense wind. As I wiped the sweat from my forehead, I realized it had all been a nightmare. I took a deep breath and exhaled quickly.

“Bang! “In the hallway, a loud voice echoed. I sneaked up to the hall and turned on the hall lights. Except for the cyst that had fallen from the wall, there was nothing there. I confirmed that the daughter and wife still hadn't awoken in the bedroom. I changed into another nightdress and walked slowly towards the balcony, but a gust of chilly wind forced me to change my mind. I leisurely moved towards the study room, pressing both arms together, to better protect myself from the frigid air.

The clock on the wall in front of the room was showing 11:30 p.m. I, slowly, closed the study room door after entering it. In the room, there was a strange silence. In the corner, a table lamp was glowing. The light from the lamp is reflected by the table's surface, eventually dispersing dim light throughout the room. The slow ticking of the clock's second hand sounded like someone pricking a needle in the ear. Because the light enters the hall through the gap between the door and the floor, I didn't think it was appropriate to turn on the room light.

Suddenly, my gaze was drawn to my dairy. This was the same diary I bought in 2003 to keep track of my daily activities. I took out the diary and almost sat on the floor with it. To remove the layer of dust on the diary, I hit it; a little bit of dust suddenly filled my nose. As a result, I sneezed, which I quickly suppressed with my elbow.

Unfortunately, a corner of the diary was shrieked in my left brow during this action. When I caressed the brow with my hand, I observed a drop of blood seeping from it. I ended up taking a Band-Aid from the first-aid kit and putting it on my brow whilst also looking in the mirror.

I placed the diary on the table as I moved slowly towards the study table and nearly collapsed on the chair in front of it. I put one of my elbows on the table and used the other hand to cast the light of the lamp on the diary. A sticker with hazy writing was glued to it.

I made an effort to read carefully.

Ganesh Rai, it was written on the sticker.

As soon as I opened the diary, a pleasant aroma entered my nose. This fragrance was similar to what you get when raindrops fall on scorching earth. And Then I saw these old writings on the first page, it brings back so many old memories.

I made the first diary entry soon after I bought the diary in 2003. But all the enthusiasm cooled down in a few days. I opened the page I wrote on my first night in the hostel while flipping through the pages of 2003.

Thursday 15th July 2004 Dear Diary, Being from Muzaffarnagar was favorable for me since I already had two pals before entering College: the two G’s, Gullu and Gopi. I knew both of them before entering college, and we three decided to share rooms. Gullu was allotted room number 110, although there was a problem; one out of the three beds was already occupied.

We came to the room to see if we could talk to that person to consider moving to some other room so that the three of us could reside together. Sulabh's mother spoke to the person who consented graciously while looking at the floor all through the conversation. Who knew this person would turn out to be our very own narrator, factional, Ankur Dixit?

On the first day of college, this was my first impression of anyone other than my pals. As soon as he……..”.

What exactly is this? How did the journal entry got suddenly cut off? I was flabbergasted.

I quickly turned a few pages, expecting to find the remaining entry on the next few. “Why didn't I finish writing this diary?”, this thought occurred to me. When I couldn't remember even after putting a great deal of pressure on my mind, I closed the diary, tucked it away in the cabinet, and turned off the light. I moved to bed after closing the study room's latch. I felt compelled to put on the blanket as I had forgotten to close the window in a hurry, causing the room to become cold.

The warmth of the blanket gradually started to dispel both the cold air and the doubts that had been crawling into my head. Sleep began to slide into my eyes gradually.

I've been reliving the events of the first day of college one by one since the moment I opened the diary today. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck my mind since the shadow, that showed up in my dream, seemed to be part of those memories. I suddenly remembered the incident in my mind that had prevented me from finishing the diary entry on my first night of college.

I ended up sitting on the bed and began to wipe away the sweat droplets that had coalesced on my forehead, brow, and neck while recalling that incident. I grabbed the phone and ran to the balcony to make a group video call. I began the video call without trying to protect myself from the chilled air.…….